This pole is covered in pig fat and there is money at the top
during my town fair

Utila

Langue Church at Night

Great Thanksgiving

Surgery Day 1

The Best Family in Langue

Where’s the Music At?

There are an incredible number of lessons I have learned thus far in my experience here. However, I think that one of the most lasting changes I have seen come through me as a result of my time here has to do with expectations. As human beings we grapple every day with the word whether we are conscious of it or not. There are an uncountable number of expectations that we take for granted everyday, and with good reason. It is a tool we use to expect things to happen, assuming general truths about the world around us as to not spend all of our mental energy in frivolous activities. It is safe to assume that the sun will rise tomorrow, that a fire is hot, drinking water will rehydrate, and so on. So we create expectations about these things. The problem that eventually faces us is when these expectations are unfairly assigned to things that are not so concrete. It works out for a time, however when one changes all of his or her surroundings the gap between expectations and realities becomes ever more recognizable.

When coming to a new place we almost all unconsciously create images of how we suppose that place will be. What it will look like, what the people will look like, what our relation will be to this new place and 99.9% of the time this image is not the case. Creating this image in our heads is something uncontrollable, expecting a place to be anything else than what exists in reality is, however, controllable. Someone once told me a simple quote that has continued to stick with me throughout my service. “Expectations are pre-meditated resentments.” In approaching my work, and I think much of development work in the world as a whole could benefit from this, I find myself utilizing these few words to deal with a complicated set of emotions. They can be applied to the physical appearances of places, cultural practices, or a number of things. I find it most useful in my work (or lack of it sometimes), and relations therein. It is unfair of me to build up any expectations of how things will unfold if I have not been explicitly clear as to what they are to those I am currently working with. I, and anyone else who does this, sets themselves up to be upset, and to some degree resentful when a given situation does not live up to your internally constructed thoughts of how they should go. Bottom line is that without proper communication it isn’t fair to others, as well as yourself to expect anything more or less than what is presented. It is not to say that I do not still find myself upset when things don’t go well. I do. But, if what goes wrong in my work is due to a communication error, not something external to that, then it is my fault for not properly expressing my feelings and managing them with those of others. I am learning to manage my expectations, knowing that communication and self-discipline to be the keys. There are so many things out of any of our control but the intent to properly communicate and find understanding with others is not. This both simple and profound fact I am learning with great humility as I continue my journey in this world.

To get a little less philosophical, I want to ask…Where’s the Music At? It is a common past time of mine and other volunteers I know to criticize the culture. There is just too much time not to. After a time you get used to a lot though, a surprising amount really. A “regular” shower becomes an indulgence to the more efficient bucket. Burning trash everywhere not only ceases to create such an alarming sensation, but out of necessity you start burning it every once in a while yourself (on a deep level burning plastic will always upset me). I just went a whole day for the first time here without eating any beans, tortillas, or a single egg and it felt just plain wrong.

But what I can’t get used to is this music situation here. If you know me well you know I’m completely obsessed with music. I play, I listen, and I listen…and I listen. I found my ways to get good enough internets every once in a while to download as many albums I can. It works out pretty well and I have my guitar here now and a stereo. But there is plain and simple a complete lack of music culture in this country. As previously stated, expectations can get you in trouble, but come on people. To give an analogy: Imagine that you are listening to the top 20 station in the U.S.; it’s usually 95.5 or something like that. Sorry for those that enjoy it, but it’s repetitive shit and most of it sucks. Now, imagine that new songs don’t appear for VERY long periods of time, so that the same 20 songs keep repeating for 6 months at a time or more. Now imagine that you can only travel in buses that blast these same songs, sit in cars with friends who blast it, go to town dances that blast it. It gets hard to handle. Remember that Shakira World Cup song? Yeah, still goin’ strong. Also, next to nobody plays an instrument, or has any sense of rhythm. They just aren’t taught it; music is not an integral part of the culture here. It has nothing to do with poverty; some of the poorest parts of the world have some of the richest musical heritage. And there are always exceptions. There are oldies. The two biggest cities have places where people dance Salsa and other ballroom dances. The biggest exception I have seen is that of the Garifuna, an ethnic group on the north coast of the country of African dissent with direct roots to the slave trade. But that’s the other side of the country. I cannot deny that there is some Merengue, some Salsa, some Punta (Garifuna dance/music), and the like; but live music is a rarity. There is one town band that plays funeral marches and birthday parties; in terms of instruments picture a very simplified and slowed down jazz ensemble. If I had to ask myself, where’s the music at in Langue? I would have to answer…my place.

Come on over.